I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
