dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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