WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Even my vagina gasped.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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