is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
