im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize