She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
