im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
