yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
