I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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