dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
