My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
