The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
ok first of all what the fuck
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
