you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize