Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
