Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
