i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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