Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
