Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Naked. naked and bneed help.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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