Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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