i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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