i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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