remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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