You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize