she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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