you guys were way drunker than both of me
someone owes me an orgasm
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
