:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
