he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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