so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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