You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Green mimosas i think yes
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
