I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize