please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
