I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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