i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
