The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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