Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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