you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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