If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
