Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So squirting runs in the family.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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