"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
