Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
