my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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