i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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