i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im holly from the hills drunk
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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