she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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