Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Even my vagina gasped.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
