Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
