why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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