i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
