I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
