We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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