Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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