I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
