Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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