did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
