dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He shit in the fireplace
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
