Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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