he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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