Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
