Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
