I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
