I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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