Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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