Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
