Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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