I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
