i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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