every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
