hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
