After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
