I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize