Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
